I’ve been stuck in a rut lately. I feel like since finishing uni I’ve been rather lost. For someone who likes to have everything planned out and know what she’s doing next I found it rather odd. I’ve felt really negative and not myself.
I went to the hospital today to have my last joint clinic with my orthodontist and the surgeon who done my jaw surgery nearly two years ago. It was weird being back. All was well but as I came out I said to my dad that that surgeon had literally changed my life. And then I broke down and cried. It was as though all this built up emotion of the past few months had suddenly built up and was finally released. Thinking about it though,it was probably built up emotion from the operation itself. After I had it done it felt as though I was in auto pilot and it took me ages to know how I felt.
My orthodontist asked if I was glad I’d had it done. My answer:100%. I know it sounds like a cliche,but the surgeon really did change my life. I’ve become so much more confident and happier in myself since. Even though to him it was just his job-to me it was everything I didn’t know I needed. It was a new start and a completely new outlook.
I came away after that appointment annoyed that I let myself be so down about things.
From now on:
-I’m going to start thinking positive again! A job will come up soon. For now I’m going to enjoy the free time I have.
-I’ll continue working on my novel. Especially as there are professional literary people are interested in reading it. Amelia and Dylan now is your chance to shine. Don’t let me down.
-Carry on blogging. I don’t know what about exactly but something is bound to come up. Suggestions welcome.
-Go to the theatre and do fun things as much as possible. Starting with the 40 years of Bugsy Malone exhibition on Sunday. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Friends Fest at the end. And hopefully Funny Girl,Guys and Dolls and Yerma thrown in for good measure too.
-Enjoy the little things and stay positive. The negativity isn’t helping anyone. Especially yourself.
-Stop worrying about whether a guy likes you. Let go of the fantasy you had about developing a relationship with him when he doesn’t make the effort to talk to you. If he likes you he will. The right guy will come along,you just have to patient. Stop looking. Concentrate on the great things in life.
-Read more. As much as you can. Anything. Everything. Write about it.
-Just Live.
❤️
Emily Pontin 